[12 Days of
Christmas Festivus!] On the Tenth Day… How to Celebrate Festivus!
Hey everyone, Happy Festivus!
For those of you that aren’t aware of Festivus, it is the Costanza version of Christmas (celebrated and observed on the 23rd of December) from the television series Seinfeld.
The Aluminum Pole
Instead of a Christmas Tree, set up an Aluminum Pole. We find tinsel distracting.
For Festivus dinner, red food is preferred, like Beefarino (or Beefaroni from Chef Boyardee). Follow up with Tuna on Toast, Pretzels, and don’t forget Black & White Cookies for dessert (Look to the cookie).
The Feats of Strength
The Feats of Strength are an important festivity. Usually, the previous winner chooses a new target. It should be someone who hasn’t done it recently. If there is a discrepancy (multiple winners from different families or no winner present), the head of the house chooses an opponent. Until you pin me [insert opponent], Festivus is not over!
The Airing of Grievances
When you gather the family around the table, the head of the house or previous feats of strength winner gets to tell the family all the ways in which they have disappointed him or her over the past year.
Don’t forget “Festivus Miracles”
This is an event reserved for anyone not the head of household or feats of strength winner. You will know what a festivus miracle is when you see it. Trust me!
Don’t forget the Hennigans!
The Human Fund
Gifts for Festivus include gifts made as donations to The Human Fund.
Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!
-Kyle A. Goethe